Amarok, I just love it!

My search for the perfect music player came to an end with amarok. I started off with Rythmbox which was pretty cool but did not have features like lyrics and wiki fetching. Now, with Amarok, I have them both and built in tag editor. The only flip side is that to run amarok, I had to install KDE libraries on my GNOME ubuntu making it a bit slow. But then its not really noticable normally and with the kind of player amarok is, who cares!

The Fourth Estate

Absolute power over everyhing is the driving force behind any human. Nothing comes closer to this, in modern times, than the fourth estate, i.e. the press. With our dependence on newspapers, television and internet for information, these oasis of information have become very important. Not only do they shape our opinions but in almost absolute sense they control them.
How else does one account for a nation celebrating when a child was rescued from a deep well? Or people vehemently discussing why a particular singer from their region, slated to appear on a television show, is the best? Or a common lady, with her life full of problems, worried about a fictitious character's fate who incidentally has more than one extra-marital affair and a lot of money. All this is the reality of India as it is today. It seems very absurd to me, especially as a technology student. I mean aren't there better things to be happy or sad or emotional about?
I am sure there are. With a country the size of India, I am sure there are things that are of some consequence happening somewhere in some part of the country. But the fourth estate of my country is too busy gathering news about the easily accessible and sellable things. I really doubt if that is the motivation behind the existence of press in a society.
The reason I wrote this blog is that I feel very awkward when I go home, from my college. Everybody's discussing such obscure things that it makes no sense to me. I often, then, wonder if the minds of these people are being controlled by some external force!

The Window at my Workspace

The last few months have been really hectic for me. I spent a lot of time doing layouts and simulations, so much so that now I have started to hate them. In these times of misery, my only solace was the view from the window at my workspace. I do not know what it offered but the variety of colors, through a tinted glass was a scene worth it. The view still captivates me. As a person new to photography, I do not think that I do enough justice to what I actually saw, but anyway here is a low resolution glimpse of what my driving force was in the last few months.

Soma Seller

What do you plan to do in the future? What will you do when you grow up? Questions like these are very often asked and whenever asked, perplexed me. I really did not know what I'll do when I "grow up". But now that I am on the verge of "growing up", these questions are not only serious but also daunting. As an undergraduate, there lies a world of immense possibilities for me. It seems like I can do anything I want. You know, join a job, go for further studies, open my own firm and what not. But experience prevents me from taking hasty decisions. I could do any of those things and I certainly have a bright future, but are those things worth the effort? I mean, toiling day and night to get the projects/thesis done. In the last few days I have found out that all these are very thankless jobs. Why? Simply because they don't depend on you, you depend on them!
Here is where I argue with myself that, if ever I do something I really want to, it will be something that only I can do. I mean I am not just doing something to earn money. I am doing something because I am required there and there is no solution for the problem except me. Its only in places/jobs like these that I think that I can find satisfaction and more importantly happiness. One then wonders if such jobs exist. Well, one is that of Soma Seller(one who sells happiness, even if artificial) and I would love to be one if I get a chance!

Chilli Coriander

By yesterday evening, I was up to my neck with VLSI(how? Well, that's another story!). I came from the stupid BEC lab and when duty reckoned me to the Labs in VLSI course, my instinct did not. My friend incidentally asked me if I would like to attend a lecture on something. I was not too sure, but then I thought that maybe it would be worth trying. So we went and before I entered the lecture, I realized that I would be more or less wasting my time listening to the "intellectuals". I asked my friend if he wanted to go out and eat food. He said yes and suggested we go to Chilli Coriander. So that's how I ended up with a seemingly lavish plan for a Tuesday when I was supposed to be busy like hell. We had some tasty soup and better than brajwasi food and believe me this was one of the best times I had in days!
In retrospect, I think that it makes no real sense to worry about a lot of things if one has to survive in this stupid world. You know(I think, or rather have come to conclude), most of the problems in this world are actually the proof of its existence. So just say, To Hell With...and enjoy life as and when you get the chance!

The hypocrisy of my Generation

You know people of my generation are masters of criticism. We find this whole world to be conspiring against us. There is this administration who takes arbitrary decisions about academics(without consulting the students and even faculty), there are these very inefficient people who are the heads of organizations(like directors) who apparently do no work. We all just love bashing them and spent hours criticizing them. But then inevitably a question comes to my mind. Could everybody be so stupid? I mean these people are highly paid, couldn't be for nothing, right? Right!
The best way to come to this conclusion is to see what those people who criticize them are doing. Arbitrary decisions are very emphatically criticized by many students. But when it comes to managing their clubs, the decisions are equally arbitrary.
I will tell you about a case where I happened to be a party involved. There was this club that was started by our seniors and we were pretty excited by it. We got involved in managing it and all. Somewhere down the line, I realized that the decisions of the club were becoming totally arbitrary. You know everybody was supposed to be paying up for the services they got but nobody was consulted about the kind of things they wanted. The very knowledgeable leader and his friends decided everything and rejected any suggestions on the pretext that "we can't satisfy all". Fair enough! But then I wonder is this not also the case with probably all the leaders of our country. In fact I think that they are much more rational in their decision making. I really hope that none of my generation people get into decision making, it would be a mess. And(forgive me lord for thinking this way) I wish from the bottom of my heart that those people who make arbitrary decisions, based on the false assumpsion that they are right and the world is wrong, face the same sometime in life. Let it happen that they are very involved in something and are excited about it and let the leader cheat on them with arbitrary decisions, let it happen that for once they feel helpless, let it happen that all those people who think they are the people who know everything submit to a much more ignorant person, let it happen that all such people rest in peace! To their soul Amen.

The Importance of being Earnest

Is there any?

Being a Teacher!

Sir, what is this CRO? How do we operate it? How to write nodal equations? Hell, how do I know, I think. But then it is my responsibility as a Teaching Assistant(TA in short) to clarify the students doubts. Life seems to change in many ways when you are on the other side of the classroom. As a student, I always liked to pester my teachers with stupid questions. Of course, there were many things that I took for granted or left un-understood(I guess that's what's engineering is all about). As a teacher, its not the same. Rest assured that if you are unclear with some concept, the students are going to chew you raw. And the amazing part is that one enjoys these situations, or at least I do. Why? Well for one, this condition is a sure indication that by the next class I would be rock solid in that particular concept. Secondly, I am proud, as a teacher, that my student think more than me and give me hope that they would reach greater heights. Now that is something that is very counter-intuitive. As part of the process of evolution, one always wants to be the best and is happy only on attaining that condition. But as a teacher things are different. There is a sense of satisfaction in seeing your students being on top of the world(that of course means that they surpass you in some sense).
The last few months, as a teacher, has changed my worldview tremendously. I thought that teaching was a very boring job. Well, now I think that it is one of the most interesting ones. I know that I am not yet upto the mark in terms of teaching, but I am sure that a bit of experience will change that(I'm still a bit nervous facing students ;)). Another reason for my change in thinking is probably due to the kind of professor that I have as my boss. The joy that he derives from teaching and the energy with which he teaches is contagious. I wonder if he is plotting to make a geeky professor out of me!

Its a Wonderful Life

What is life? Some say it is just a journey to death, which is the final destiny and destination of us all. Very true, but I think life is more than just a journey towards death. It is about being someone, affecting lives of people and influencing the world in a way which leaves the world different from what it would have been without you. A person who lives in isolation(and hence probably in blissful ignorance), I think, is as good as dead. I think this is the message that the movie "It's a wonderful life" wants to give us. I found it a particularly touching movie and it changed my outlook towards life. But I watched it long ago, so why the sudden surge now to write a blog on it? Well, that movie just changed my perspective, not my actions. I continued to live life in the same way as before. However, In the last few months, after having lost my cousin brother in a car accident, I feel that I am a changed person in terms of my actions too. The loss of my brother , for the first time, made me realize how precarious and important life is, not just of oneself but also of people who one knows. All of us spend so much time worrying about small things and in the process miss enjoying the precious gift of life given to us. I think that Its a Wonderful Life and deserves more than our one dimensional outlook towards life and people.

The India of My Dreams

Call it childish but I have a dream for India, a dream that I want to realize more than anything else. Now let's see what I want in the India of my dreams. Eradication of poverty, equality, universal education, opportunities for all....No! That's what the communists wanted and they failed miserably. Volumes of literature has been written on the reasons but the one thing I think was instrumental in its failure was that communism de-emphasized the importance of labor, the need to work hard. There is a stream of thought that says that working hard(or working at all for that matter) is of no use. And believe me this stream of thought is nowhere more dominant than in the country of my birth, India. I think that we, as Indians, have become slaves to the "babuism" that the British left. I have no problem with people assimilating English, but assimilating the babu mentality, that of not working, is something that I just cannot understand. Now what's my basis for saying that? Ok, I'll explain. There is this statistic that says that more than 70% of India is agrarian. In this context, I question the use of education given in the schools of India. They start off by teaching basic languages and then progress on to teach mathematics, sciences, sociology etc. In a country with more than 70% people living in the rural belt, depending on agriculture for their existence, I think that an education system without the basics of agriculture, is pathetic. And ironically nobody questions this. Why? Because education is considered, unconsciously, by us as a way to escape doing hard work. All we, as Indians, want is to escape the tough conditions of our country and probably land up in Europe or USA. What we fail to realize is that all that the Indian education system prepares its subjects for, just like in the British age, is to become clerks. Of course, now we are much more efficient clerks and the word officially recognizes us by outsourcing a lot of their work to our country. But then who feeds the clerks, who keeps their cities clean...? What we, as an independent nation, have not been able to do is to make our citizens appreciate the importance and the dignity of labor. As a developing nation, we have a lot of people who would do these supposedly menial jobs. But what of the time when we become a developed nation(as our president foresees in 2020)? With the kind of disrespect we have for work, I doubt that we would ever become developed. The chances are that we would starve ourselves to death before becoming developed. This is certainly not the India of my dreams. I do not want my countrymen to die of hunger. I'd rather they lived in a more primitive way, but with dignity and respect, even with the most "disgusting" of the jobs. That is the India of my dreams. I dream of an India where, we would, as Indira Gandhi said " work more and talk less". This is not to undermine the rich tradition of Indian debating, which I very much respect and am proud of, especially after reading "The Argumentative Indian" by Amartya Sen, but I think that a time in history will come when we would have to choose to come out of our reverie and start pure and simple hard work. Only then, I think would we be able to live in a world as Rabindranath Tagore describes as :"..where the head is held high...".
PS: This stream of my thought was triggered after I read the autobiography of Booker T. Washington(Up from Slavery).

Clockwork Orange

Today two of my friends went home. It feels pretty lonely here at college with most of the friends at home, the remaining few of us just pass our time lazily. Of course, I am to blame for it as I doomed myself to the toughest and the most hectic three months of my life with a workshop and a really grilling internship. But then I wonder if it is worth it. The "rational" mind that I have been destined to develop through my 18 years of education says that that's the best I could do. After all I need recommendations and papers in order to get through to good universities abroad, don't I? But then I really wonder if its worth it. You know, working so hard, living away from parents and all. I guess I am doing all this because I enjoy putting myself into trouble, that's the only way to make one's life a bit interesting(and challenging), otherwise its all the same. Its just like being a clockwork orange. And believe me, that's something I really dread.

I Dare to Dream Big

Today, 6th July, is the death anniversary of one of the greatest visionaries of India, Dhirubhai Ambani. I am really proud to study in the only institute of higher learning named after him. Probably it is this relationship between us that makes me dream big for my country. Just imagine, a petrol pump boy taking over the reigns of the complete market of India within a span of few years. Converting the country into a net exporter of petroleum and running an organization with discipline in a country famous for just the opposite. Sam Pitroda might have created the PCO revolution but it was the vision(and a Gujarati businessman's drive) that propelled India to the next level, that of mobile telephony. This person had the guts to think big and not be weary of making profits wherever possible(I don't think he believed that business was for charity). Hats off to Dhirubhai.

Catcher in the Rye

Ever felt lousy, really really lousy. I do feel that way most of the time. Everything seems so imperfect, so fake that you could puke. This world really does not make sense, more so is true about people's actions. Watching football, for instance. Now what's so interesting in that(given that no one from your country is playing, and the country has such pathetic scoccer future that there is no chance of it figuring anywhere in the game for the next 20 years), and why is it considered so fun. It could as well be some obscure game played by some stupid aliens in some unknown location. The only reason it is not is that we have the idiot box and some stupid cola companies ready to promote anything, no matter how useless, for the sake of increasing sales. But, of course, nobody realises this, or maybe they do, I do not know. How could everyone, and I mean everyone, be so stupid. Don't these people have something better to do? They could read 'Catcher in the Rye' for instance, which somehow(and I really don't know) propelled me to write this.

Shifgrethor

Time is the best teacher and it is true. As a child I was taught, both by my parents and teachers, to be truthful and ethical in all situations. As a child the ideas seemed perfect and following them was pretty easy, just be an open book. As a child, in fact, I was proud of it and sometimes there was recognition from my peers and elders that encouraged me.
As I grew, these teachings got modified, and I do not know why and how. They said that it is not bad to do some "wrong" action unless you are caught. It seemed a fair enough suggestion. After all if your actions do no harm to anyone, it os okay.
I grew more, or did I? I came to understand that to survive in this world, full of lies, one has to behave very differently. It did not matter if you did your work in its spirit and learned. Emphasis was on proving(and that's what they proudly emphasise at my college) that you worked and you know. I thought that assesing was part of professors job and not ours. Anyway, it would have been fine if things went that way. The world went a step forward. They said we will compare you with respect to your peers(implying in other words that if the peers are making a fool of somebody to acheive something more, you had to do it, else you will be eliminated). So eventually it becomes a rat race of making fools of each other, amongst which the real aims generally get lost.
Ursula K. Le Guin once wrote a science fiction book called "The Left Hand of Darkness". The word shifgrethor is coined by her which is the term for subtle games/politics one plays to attain position of power or prominence. The importance of such games in Gethen society and their implicitness made me poder if all of it was just imagination.

Evolution to Linux

Once upon a time, there lived a sincere and hardworking child. He was, in his adolescence, introduced to this thing called windows95. A wonderful thing he thought of it. He grew up with it, upgrading to the latest version released, he grew up with it oblivious of the alternatives available, he grew up with it unaware of the fact that there is possibility of a choice and probably he did not grow at all. Not to mention he was involuntarily involved in the multi-trillion dollar industry of pirated software. Then few years down the line, his windows machine started to crash at regular intervals. Frustrated, he set out to look for another alternative and found this extremely difficult to use software called Linux. But by then the windows machine had irritated him enough to force him to use this obscure looking penguin software.
And then started the journey of the boy, a journey full of discoveries, a journey that made him grow, a journey that was true, a journey to which he had a right to. At every step, though with lot of difficulties, he discovered new things, new applications, the power of his box and above all the possibilities that existed in the world. These things motivated him to explore more, create his own applications and modify the existing ones according to his needs, the power of open source. He found out that he was not alone in this endeavour, there were a lot of people like him. He started networking and started to learn, and now in true sense he was more than just a technology user, or at least he felt so.
Evolution is the truth of life. If we do not evolve, Darwin says we will become extinct. Then why do we look for convenient things(like windows) in our lifes, things that will in their convenience disable our desire and ability to learn and develop/evolve. Just because open source software's like Linux throw up technological challenges, why do we(as producers of technology) shy away from them. Is this a sign of our incompetence, a sign of our decay? I wonder.

Down PC drain

1000 undergraduate students, with access to equal number of personal computers and round the clock internet connectivity! A dream, no it is a reality of the place I live in but there's something ironic about it. Rather than being the producers of technology(&related stuff), we are just consumers of it. Orkut, Movies, TV serials, cartoons, Rated stuff, Games. You name it and we have it. What we don't have is the environment to use the facilities available for some more productive work. What we don't have is a motivated group of people to think in this direction. What we don't have is the desire to be the leaders and the desire to work hard. If that is the situation of one of the premier institute of higher learning in India, I wonder what the situation is at other places? Unimaginable, somebody give me a few grams of SOMA. I want soma!

Soma! What's That?

For starters, Soma is the happiness giving drug thought of by Aldus Huxley in "A Brave New World" though the word seems to have Indian origins. However, Soma is not just a drug. It represents the eternal desire of humans to be happy forever, or rather have their emotions in their control. Isn't that what the sages of hinduism set out to acheive? Ironically using this very drug of a utopian society and its effects does Huxley convey to us how disastrous it would be if such a feat is acheived. Nonetheless, it is the desire of things like Soma that keeps us alive and gives meaning to our lives. Hence I wonder if there are some goals in life that should be left unacheived. In fact I wonder if that's what life's all about? Fighting and struggling all life and in the end submitting to something as inevitable as death. So what's the point? To be true, I don't know! I wrote this only because everything seems so absurd from this angle, i.e. do we live only to die in the end? Then why do we worry about so many petty things(grades in my case and salary in the case of my friend) in life? I don't know, but a few grams of Soma at this point won't harm!

Let's see if it works

Funny, I know that this will work still I persist to test it.