Marriage & Affair: Prisoner's Dilemma

Now you see, the Indian society is very conservative. Relationships (the lovey-dovey/just friends kinds) are always a contentious issue. But I think if one were to analyze the situation from the point of view of game theory, it makes sense to have an affair. Here's how:

As can be seen from above, the best payoff for either party is in case of them having an affair irrespective of what the other party does. So, why the counter-logical advise by the society?

Thappad se Darr Nahi Lagta Saab, Pyaar se Lagta Hai

I always thought that I wanted good people around me. I think I still want that. With that wish of mine, its sometimes comical that I get scared when someone is good to me. Without a background if someone is good to me I always get a little worried. In such cases, I have this weird feeling that there is something that the other person knows that I don't. And my mind is uneasy till it figures out the real purpose behind the goodness, the real event that triggered it. Typical examples are when someone is expecting something from you. There are many other such situations. I think the dialogue in Dabangg sums up the situation beautifully. Thappad se Darr Nahi Lagta Saab, Pyaar se Lagta Hai. That, is the paradox of goodness.

Kandisa

I think its enough now,
Its high time you show yourself now,
And reveal the divine plan,
Because I have started to feel numb,
And have started to loose hope.
I am afraid,
This subtlety of yours,
Would turn me into someone I would hate to be.
Or maybe that's how its supposed to be.
In either case, I just hate you.

Festivals, Occasions and Celebrations

Festivals are occasions of social importance and interaction where people meet/greet each other and enjoy themselves. Its a celebration of some aspect of life. In earlier days it used to be linked to harvesting, agriculture, seasons etc., while these days it is that, plus a lot more. The olden festivals like diwali, holi etc. have rituals that we follow, like pujas, putting colors etc. Festivals like these had a lot to do with the farmers crop getting harvested and hence him/her being happy for the produce or for the onset of the season that was a big relief.

However, on each such occasion or festival I find myself awfully out of place. I know its a festival and for some reason I am supposed to be excited about it but truly speaking, on most such days, I feel no different from the day before or the day after. I now think its not because I am a social anomaly but that the whole social context has changed since these festivals were invented. For a farmer it made sense to be happy after a good harvest. In today's context probably we should have festivals revolving around world cup wins or the announcement and disbursement of bonuses. The idea being that there has to be a trigger for a festival, other than the occurrence of a day according to the calendar. Also, prevalence of A/C should eventually make climate linked festivals obsolete. Of course, in both these contexts, I find celebrating a new year hard to justify.

Anyway, once we settle the question of what we celebrate comes the idea of how we celebrate. Now this is the aspect where I think that there's so little creativity. Since the last so many years whenever I am happy about something, all I can think of is going to a good restaurant and having good food. Also, to me the overused (and according to me utterly mundane) way of celebrating by consuming alcohol does not really appeal. Nonetheless, I think that there are very few ways to celebrate anything.

In my experience it is difficult to find a person with whom you can share your sorrows without being pitied or made fun of. However, I think a person would have to be equally lucky to have someone with whom a moment of happiness can be shared without arousing the feeling of jealousy. I think that, ironically, it is the moments of happiness, the moments of celebration where one often finds himself at a loss on how and with whom to express his happiness. Maybe it is time we invent a totally new way of celebrating. Or maybe, given the right set of people, it would not even matter on how a festival/occasion has to be celebrated.

Heroes

2nd April 2011. That's the day when the gross total happiness in this world would have been at its highest. That's when India won the world cup. I have never seen so many people so happy together. To put it in Ravi Shastri's words, the streets were jam packed and the atmosphere electric. There was a wave of nationalism and the usual chants of "Bharat Mata ki Jai". Of course, being in Hyderabad, I was witness to a couple of bizarre slogans of "Jai Telengana" and "Jai Shri Ram"!

5th April 2011. Anna Hazare went on fast unto death to force the government to commit to civil (non-political) representation in committee drafting the Anti-Corruption bill, a committee which has fair representation for some of the most corrupt politicians of the nation. For once, there is a sense of unity amongst the people on a cause (Of course, Arundhati Roy and her band of social reformers are missing from the scene. And why shouldn't they be, Anna Hazare is not out on an armed rampage to prove his point). In recent times, this kind of unity is surpassed only by the one I described in the above paragraph.

Now, when the country hails our cricket team as heroes, I see them as nothing more than creations of the media/advertisers to encash the elated feelings of the people when the people project the team's success as their own. While on the other hand, today, Anna Hazare to me is the personification of the pain that most people feel and want to act against but just don't know how. More importantly, his actions give us hope that there might yet be things that can be done to prevent the moral fabric of our society from completely disintegrating. I pray, more than I did for the Indian team to win the world cup, that Anna Hazare is successful in his cause. Our cause. Because, for me, he is a real hero. A hero by choice, not by chance.

3D Movies, I Boycott

Imagine wearing a pair of shoes over another pair of shoes or a hat over your head and another hat over the first hat. Its both irritating and preposterous. That's why it had to take the genius of James Cameroon and an army of designers, technologists and what not to bring out Avatar, a movie that marked the beginning of 3D into mainstream cinema. While there was a technological awe associated with the movie, the reason 3D technology went so well with the producers is that it, supposedly, prevents piracy.

After Avatar there has been a rush of movies being made in 3D. Any Hollywood movie that is worth watching these days is released in 3D. If at all there are 2D versions, they get released in some obscure theaters in some obscure corner of the city.

All this was fine as long as the technology did not require wearing those stupid glasses. I mean they are nothing but a hassle. First you go to the theater and deposit money to get a pair of glasses. Then you are not sure if they are upto the standard. So you wear them and do a cleanliness check. Of course, its only when the movie starts do you realize that the glasses are no good in translating the movie into 3D. But its too late. I also have this feeling that the 3D glasses reduce the brightness and, at least for me, end up giving a headache. I think its a conspiracy against people like me who wear spects. Wearing spects over spects! How ridiculous. I wish all these producers have to wear a pair of hard leather shoes over their other pair of shoes for their whole life.

To get my voice heard, I have decided to make my money talk. From today onwards, I boycott all 3D movies till there is a better technology where those stupid spects are not required as an add-on. Or better still, producers revert to those good old 2D formats. Most movies are not worth the 3D conversion effort anyway.

Feelings

"A Christmas Carol" is a particularly moving piece of literature. I read the adapted version of the novella for stage enactment during my high school and ever since it has been on the back of my mind for the novella's projection of the ever nagging eventuality that a person might face.

For the uninitiated, A Christmas Carol is the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a miserly businessman who detests the world and everyone around him and there is a certain sense of reciprocity to the feelings. Then, on the eve of Christmas he is faced with three ghosts who take him through a journey that changes his (remaining) life forever. A masterpiece by Charles Dickens, read it to believe it (I am no fan of Charles Dickens but this work is really awesome though some might find it a bit childish). Though, Scrooge is a highly successful businessman, in the journey to his 'success' he keeps on loosing those near him. The result is a person with a lot of potential sources of happiness (read money :P) but no one really to share it with. (Another piece of work that conveys this message very well is "Into the Wild" but in a different light).

Now, for me, what's so creepy about this book is that in real life I so often meet people like Scrooge that I am afraid that given enough time I might also become one. I like to think of myself as an optimist but truth be told, the number of grumpy old (though many of these are not exactly old) people around at times sucks out all the optimism. I understand that people have their experiences and points of view but it is difficult for me to grasp when money is given precedence over feelings. I feel really sad for people who are not able to sympathize with other people and their situations. People who, either by their innate nature or conscious thoughts, decide to exploit someone or put someone in misery. I pity them because they are eventually doomed to a 'Scroogian' life and am afraid of them because their attitudes might rub off on me. And hence I read and re-read "A Christmas Carol" to remind me of what I must never be.